DEADLOCKREBEL.ORG

that's what you get the girl who has everything.

An Ashe site was inevitable.

I first registered deadlockrebel.org in October 2023 when I moved my primary domain from nevarra.org to norvrandt.org. When you've been into site making for as long as I have, you simply keep accumulating them – although the ones that outlast and have longevity are for things you are really passionate about. I'd drifted away from Dragon Age after ten years of silence, and Shadowbringers had left such an impact on me I wanted that fictional place to be where I would lay down my internet roots. And whilst I was making myself a new layout, featuring my Ashe alt, I thought about how I could sit down at any given moment and write so much more about her. I'd had on and off success with making characters tributes, and hadn't since 2016, but perhaps I would try.

I failed the layout a few times. It was too dark, I didn't like the presentation, it needed something that was thematic but I couldn't figure out what that was. I left it a few months and surprised even myself by spontaneously making a site for the videogame Control in the span of a few weeks, because I couldn't allow myself to move on from it until I preserved what I felt for it. Alright then, I said to myself. Once we're done editing these two fics that were next on my list, it's time to try again.

And this time, I had success.

I wrote the bulk of this site in October 2024 off the back of making a layout that I was proud of. I made so many images and somehow needed even more when I picked up writing for it again. My remaining pages were written January through February 2025, and Deadlock Rebel was launched on 9th March 2025.

I wanted Deadlock Rebel to be a more convivial experience with my reader, like we're sitting down over coffee or tea whilst I talk about my favourite character and distil years of thinking down into concise thoughts – that or I'm standing next to you with my red string pin board going purposefully and maniacally from one point to the next, either works. We all deserve a fictional character to be fully emotionally invested in until they become a core tenet of your personality. I truly do think about Ashe all the time – I wanted to be able to document how much I care about her whilst I still can. And I should: the only person who can describe how I feel and think about her is me. As I said, an Ashe site was inevitable. It would just simply take a lot of work.

Although I was able to plan what I wanted to write fairly easily, this site was a strange one for me as I didn't have a linear straightforward narrative to talk about nor align my thoughts to. A lot of it is supposition. This is how I ended up with a section of personal essays about my experience of Overwatch and what I've taken from it and how it's transformed my life, and another dedicated to how I find success playing Ashe and what cosmetics I like to use for her and why. I say this every time, but I like media analysis; I love character analysis, and studying them, which is what I do when I write fanfic. I've written so much about Ashe previously, and I have again. I got to re-explore and appreciate her in the text we do have, and like, all those niggly little moments of self-doubt of 'is this too far of a read, is this not Ashe as she's portrayed at all' were soothed with the repeated knowledge of no: no, it's just right. I felt vindicated.

I do need to stress for the case of media literacy, that whilst I talk a lot about factual stuff this site is my personal opinion. You might have a wholly different experience to me about certain things; you might disagree with my entirely about how to narratively move Ashe and which side she'd take. That's fine. This is how I've made up my mind. Ashe is not well-loved, and writing is the way I can creatively express my love for her through words. If you're an Ashe fan too, you have fantastic taste, and I hope you liked it. If you were on the fence with her, I hope I've given you some insight as to how enjoyable a character she is and fleshed her out a little for you.

These days, personal sites and tributes are arguably extremely rare. But I had a lot of joy throughout my time working on Deadlock Rebel. Genuinely, I am so glad I did this and proud of myself for persisting and thrilled by the end result. There's a few more personal things I'll likely add and I'll ramble about perks eventually, but this is a site I am confident in maintaining. One more time: I love Ashe. Right now, she is my favourite character in anything. She has been that for five years. I'm glad I could give her the attention she rightly deserves.

And if you've read all this way, thank you. I dearly appreciate it and the time you've given for my incredibly wordy dedication. Perhaps I'll see you again in the future.

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